Writing has been the only constant in all the years I have been away from work. I'd barely begun my work life when I decided to focus on starting and raising a family. I had my priorities pretty clear back then and lets just get the whole do I regret it question out of the way. I never did. I had a blessed and fulfilling time becoming a mom and raising my boys. Life revolved around them. I wouldn't have wished for it to be any other way. The gap between the boys made it difficult to get back to work earlier and I did get to a stage when I thought I'd probably never head back to work.
Work? When I think of the word literally, I'd say I was constantly working. Day in and day out. 24 X 7. Motherhood is work and hard challenging work if one puts their heart and soul to it. Managing a family and kids is nothing short of constant regular work. No shifts. No 9-5. No breaks whatsoever. Every woman who's raised children is a well qualified manager and how!
Today when both my boys are well settled in school and I have time in hand, my desire to get back to routine work has surfaced. Yes the kind everyone wakes up to dread and fuss about! Ok that probably sounded negative but honestly I've met very few who don't crib about their work. But then again there are those who live for it and do the kind of work they love.
I want to do something productive. I want to earn. If I say I haven't missed the feeling of money coming into my account at the end of each month, I'd be fooling myself. The sheer independent feeling of earning your own money is the one thing I have missed. It's obviously the biggest motivator in getting back to work.
The whole dilema now is how? and what to head back to? 8 years is a long time. A break that's stretched too long. Being clear about not heading back to what I did before helps. Being clueless as to what I really would love to get into now is such a negative.
And the sheer overwhelming conflicting advice from well meaning friends isn't really helping.
Will this work out the way I wish it to? That's the question I wake up to every morning.
It's also got me back to writing in an open blog again. Something tells me the journey that I've begun will have a lot of learning and the experience could be worth sharing. So here I am writing away while I have around half a dozen open screens in my laptop looking for "suitable" openings (don't ask me yet what I consider suitable!), work on my CV for the umpteenth time, struggle with a synopsis about myself, browse job portals, linkedin, Facebook to chat and reach out, emails to send.
Daunting! But dare I say I'm being really positive something will work out and I'll find direction soon. At least that's what I have to believe to keep going forward.
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