Baby Steps...

More like baby steps. The mind is racing faster than what is practically possible. I'm impatient. Everyone around tells me to slow down. It'll happen. Wait. Be patient. These things take time. Is what I get to hear.

In my head, I hear that lil voice telling me "who's going to make it happen?" 

This is where I matter. The universe doesn't always conspire you see. If I can't make it happen, nothing will. Every step forward is followed by the question "what next?" 

The weekend will keep me occupied and away from focusing here but my mind is constantly wondering and trying to answer the question above.

I wish I was that little child heading to school and all I had to do was hold my mum's hand and follow. My inner child is still looking for that guiding light. 

Shine on me. Shine soon. Shine bright.

One step at a time...

Did I think it was going to be easy heading back to work? No.

Did I think it would be this difficult to know what I want to do? No.

Two utterly crappy days of simply being unfocused, lost and confused later...I heard from a dear old friend. She gave me some sound sane advice. Not that I am completely sorted after it. But I definitely know that to pursue what I do feel is my first choice and by that I mean writing as a means to work and earn, I need to pay heed to her advice. After all, she's made quite a success of herself. Now I don't know yet how far this will take me but I do know that I have to make a start.

This very personal blog isn't simply about me struggling with finding a job. It's probably what a lot of other stay at home mom's go through. Someone somewhere will read through my experiences and think "hey I'm dealing with this too". This blog is probably going to track the whole journey right to the very end. The end here hopefully will be fabulously good.

That's me being very optimistic...hope is but a potent drug...gives one an instant high.

Totally mind boggled...thank you!

Write a CV. Change your CV. Forget the CV. Write a synopsis about yourself. Write a bio. Create a webpage. Hey try a video CV? Try x...try y...and try z!!!

But wait why even try to get back to the 9-5 grind? That's not you! 

Try writing. Content writing. 

You're on FB a lot and you were on twitter. You should try the social media scene.

Sure.

Why not? Like I really know how. Can you stick around to help me with that? 

Oh wait. Yeah you're done.

Friends!

Yeah I love you all. But I could do with some "real" help.

If I can sort out the confusion by myself, it would be perfect. I will get there. I know. 

I've only just begun!

There's always a start...

Writing has been the only constant in all the years I have been away from work. I'd barely begun my work life when I decided to focus on starting and raising a family. I had my priorities pretty clear back then and lets just get the whole do I regret it question out of the way. I never did. I had a blessed and fulfilling time becoming a mom and raising my boys. Life revolved around them. I wouldn't have wished for it to be any other way. The gap between the boys made it difficult to get back to work earlier and I did get to a stage when I thought I'd probably never head back to work. 

Work? When I think of the word literally, I'd say I was constantly working. Day in and day out. 24 X 7. Motherhood is work and hard challenging work if one puts their heart and soul to it. Managing a family and kids is nothing short of constant regular work. No shifts. No 9-5. No breaks whatsoever. Every woman who's raised children is a well qualified manager and how!

Today when both my boys are well settled in school and I have time in hand, my desire to get back to routine work has surfaced. Yes the kind everyone wakes up to dread and fuss about! Ok that probably sounded negative but honestly I've met very few who don't crib about their work. But then again there are those who live for it and do the kind of work they love.

I want to do something productive. I want to earn. If I say I haven't missed the feeling of money coming into my account at the end of each month, I'd be fooling myself. The sheer independent feeling of earning your own money is the one thing I have missed. It's obviously the biggest motivator in getting back to work.

The whole dilema now is how? and what to head back to? 8 years is a long time. A break that's stretched too long. Being clear about not heading back to what I did before helps. Being clueless as to what I really would love to get into now is such a negative. 

And the sheer overwhelming conflicting advice from well meaning friends isn't really helping. 

Will this work out the way I wish it to? That's the question I wake up to every morning. 

It's also got me back to writing in an open blog again. Something tells me the journey that I've begun will have a lot of learning and the experience could be worth sharing. So here I am writing away while I have around half a dozen open screens in my laptop looking for "suitable" openings (don't ask me yet what I consider suitable!), work on my CV for the umpteenth time, struggle with a synopsis about myself, browse job portals, linkedin, Facebook to chat and reach out, emails to send.

Daunting! But dare I say I'm being really positive something will work out and I'll find direction soon. At least that's what I have to believe to keep going forward.

Who am I?

An avid blogger, writing poems, an occasional story writer, a photography enthusiast, who always maintains an active social life be it virtual or real. Motherhood kept me away from the professional corporate world. It's what has defined me for years. It still does. But I have lived & experienced other roles. I am very well versed with Social Media, be it Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube. I am a serial Blog Founder of several personal blogs and pride myself in being the Founder of a once successful group blog ‘Between Us Friends’, with about 20 bloggers writing in it simultaneously & managing double the number of visitors. I am very social media content management savvy besides being a voracious reader.

I was a leading partner of a fun & yet very successful business venture during the last festive season. We held a successful seasonal sale of gift items where most products listed sold out through my online marketing efforts & persuasive one to one presentations. I discovered what an adept negotiator I am & my ability to influence people to achieve desired sales target.

I am a fitness freak & keep myself updated with the latest trends, be it in fashion, music, movies, books, gadgets, gizmos or current affairs. All this, while being a 24X7 mum on call, juggling between kids & handling the house, tutoring 12 & 5 year old sons. Professionally I call myself a counsellor, collector & researcher with exceptional customer service skills.

I grew up in a very cosmopolitan, secular family.  As the daughter of a senior Railway officer & the youngest sibling among three, I grew up in various parts of the country & eventually completed my high school in the NCR & graduation from the Delhi University. I pursued a Post-Graduation in Public Relations & a course in Computers before I began my professional career.

After a successful stint as a counsellor, front office coordinator in the top 2 premier professional computer institutes, I worked in one of the leading BPO’s of the country. I was working in a world renowned multinational executive search firm when I opted for my second hiatus from work to focus on my family. I now find myself ready to take on new challenges & get back to the professional world while successfully administering & managing my existing roles at home. 

Ideally I would love to write professionally, stay close to what I love doing & comes naturally to me. I am keen to explore all that the social media scene has to offer. I am also open to consider the BPO and the Research industries since I have past work experience handling similar profiles. Every door has possibilities and it’s that very thought that is exciting.